Caring for the carers – do you need help?

Providing care for another person can be hugely rewarding, but it can also be demanding and very tiring, having a detrimental effect on your own physical and emotional health.

Carers often set their own needs and wellbeing aside to focus wholly on the person they’re caring for. That can be very damaging and it’s important to recognise how you’re feeling and when you might need to ask for help.

People, especially older people, often look after someone else without realising it makes them a ‘carer’. Especially if the person they care for is their spouse, parent, son or daughter. If you regularly help another person and that person would struggle to cope without the care you give, then you meet the definition of a ‘carer’. It doesn’t matter that you do it voluntarily and are not paid for it.

The types of care you provide could include:

• helping someone to get washed or dressed, or use the toilet
• helping out with jobs around the home, such as laundry or cleaning
• cooking meals or providing food for someone
• taking someone to their medical appointments or other important events
• making sure they take their medication or can access appropriate medical care
• helping them keep in touch with family and friends and avoid social isolation

It doesn’t matter if the person you care for is your husband, wife or life partner. If you routinely care for them, you are also their carer, and it could be a full-time commitment. But the person could also be a more distant relative, friend or neighbour who you care for on a less frequent basis.

The first step to accessing the help you need is often to realise that you are a ‘carer’ for someone else. The range of help available will vary depending on where you live, but it could include:

• home adaptations, mobility equipment, disability aids or technology such as a medical alarm for the person you care for
• a formal assessment of the unpaid care you’re providing and the support you might need
• appropriate training to help you be a more confident and effective carer
• financial assistance to help cover the costs you incur as a carer
• guidance about practical help or welfare benefits you or the person you care for may be entitled to
• respite care to give you a much-needed break.

What’s critical is that you reach out for help when you need it. If you’re an unpaid carer and nobody in authority knows about it, then you probably won’t get the help you’re entitled to.

First of all you should speak to your own doctor and let them know you’re a carer for someone else. Explain what you do and ask them to make a note of it in your medical records. Your doctor can probably direct you to other carers’ resources in your area, or will know who can.

Search online for ‘help for carers’ or ‘carer resources’ in your area. If you struggle with computers and information technology, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Just ask someone with better computer skills to help you. After all, you’re already helping someone else, so why shouldn’t you get a helping hand?

Your search should turn up charities or other organisations providing free and impartial help and support for carers. These are usually goldmines of advice and information and because they help carers every day, they know all the best routes and shortcuts. A great place to start is Carers Australia.

What matters most is that you ask for help before caring for someone else starts to affect your own health and wellbeing. Whatever happens, don’t soldier on thinking you can manage on your own – you really don’t have to. Remember, if you suffer a health or emotional crisis, the person you care for will lose their carer and you’ll need extra care too.